Dear Making Comics Class,
Are these comics?
P.S. This comes to us via Professor Count Chocula
MANAGEABLE RAINBOW LOG
Last night’s episode of TCGS looked and felt a lot like the ending of The Muppet Movie to me.
Someday we’ll find it, the Gethard Connection, the losers, the randoms and Human Fish!
Comedy Central just bought a pilot of The Chris Gethard Show, and I couldn’t be more excited! The Chris Gethard Show means the world to me, so here’s a song about the big announcement.
For crying out loud! This is amazing and that someone would put this together just says so much about Chris Gethard and his little show that could.
Klaus Pichler, photographer. View more (and bigger!) photos at the NY Times.
Listen. Life is hard. You’re tired all the time, you’re overworked and underpaid, you never have enough time for anything and no one loves you and your hair, seriously, what are you even going for with that look, because it is not working. Most evenings, it’s all you can do to doze off into a bowl of cereal and hope to absorb some caloric energy through osmosis in the nine minutes between the time you get home and the time the alarm clock sends you back out again. And then some internet asshole is all, Hey yeah! Buy some stupid clams and mussels and put effort into sustaining their lives and clean them and debeard them and cook them to death and eat them, because that’s not at all a big, metaphorically horrifying waste of time just like everything else! and you literally cannot imagine how or why that would be better than just closing your eyes and leaping right the hell into the Grand Canyon.
Because, truthfully, cooking bivalves is annoying. Or, well, the cooking part is a snap (you crowd them together and make them hot, they die, and then you eat them, just like the system does to us) but everything before that—finding them, selecting them, keeping them alive until you’re ready to cook them, cleaning them, debearding them holy shit debearding them, this is the most tedious and infuriating thing anyone has ever done—is a fucking ordeal. It’s a commitment. Now I have purchased these stupid insensate filter-feeding snotballs encased in fucking stone envelopes, and I must care for them like that is not ridiculous or like they even give a shit, and ugh I have to cook and eat them within the next several hours or they will have been as big a waste of money as I am of the spark of life.
Well, look, goddammit. Claim some time to slow down and do the work of preparing a fresh, vibrant, tasty, laborious, rewarding meal for yourself. Cling to this time, with your jagged fingernails, as a symbol of your ownership of your own friggin’ life. Defend it! Snarl at your goddamn smartphone when it rings! By God, live, damn you, if only for these few hours! Take on the chore of finding, buying, preserving, preparing, and cooking a bunch of dumb bivalves, and exalt in its annoyances and tedium, for they are proof that you are alive and have made a choice for yourself!
How to Cook Bivalves, The Life-Affirming Pain in the Ass, by Albert Burneko
Looked up the address where my Amazon return is being sent. The detail is the building from the bottom of the first image. Note the semi trucks backed in against the side of the building to get a sense of scale.
- Oooh, look - they have The Cosby Show!
- Choose to watch the first episode
- Sit through 2 Capital One commercials
- Watch opening credits
- Watch screen go black, except for “Ad 1 of 2” loading in the corner
- Cancel Hulu Plus trial.